- Have 1-5 rules that cover every situation (This will help in remembering.)
1. Follow directions the first time they are
given.
2. Keep your hands, feet, and objects to
yourself.
3. Be kind to others.
4. Make good choices.
5. Try your best.
- Be consistent (Follow through with rewards/consequences. When you say it, mean it.)
- Have boundaries (Structure/hierarchy—clear and identified expectations, roles, and ways of doing things within the family)
- Set consequences and/or rewards (Consequences-brief and immediate time-outs, take toy away, lose privileges... Attempt to take your emotion out of the consequence and remain calm. Rewards-praise, a treat, tickets/tokens, a trip to the park…) Have your child decide what consequence/reward they believe they should get. Have the reward/consequence be immediate. Choices have consequences and children must learn this.
- Defined roles (In our family... My job as a mom is to... Your job as a student/son/daughter is to…) Ex: design a sticker chart or use a white board to identify daily chores, happy/sad faces…
- Give position redirection (Distract your child by offering an alternative to his/her behavior)
- Attempt to ignore the unwanted behavior, attend to something different, and then provide attention when your child behaves appropriately
- Ignore the behavior (If not dangerous and minor)
- Be clear (Telling your child to be home before dark may be 8:00 to you and 8:30 to your child.)
- Provide signals (Ex: We are leaving in 3 min. You have five minutes before I expect you to be in bed. That includes going to the bathroom and brushing your teeth.) Set a timer or have child set a timer.
- Use “I” statements (When you’re talking while I’m talking, I have to stop what I’m doing, and it frustrates me. You can also add an emotion to it for younger children. When I’m on the phone and you’re trying to talk, it makes me sad that you aren’t being kind to mommy and her friend. –incorporate rules. Also use in the positive: I am so happy that you are following the directions. Look at my smile.) This will give your child a sense of responsibility, as well as identifying the behavior that you dislike while not to label your child as bad. Positive behavior where a child receives praise and attention is the behavior that will continue. That makes me feel…
- Provide reminders. (Ex: Where does your jacket go? Where do your shoes go after school?)
- Plan ahead and prevent negative behaviors (When your child is hungry, tired…)
- Give your child a choice that works for you (Ex: I want you to wear gloves because it’s cold out, and I don’t want you to get sick; do you want to wear your blue gloves or green gloves? I would like you to help with dishes, do you want to wash or dry them?) This empowers your child to make a decision. State the exact behavior you expect.
- Spend fun time alone with your child
- Talk positively to others about them in their presence
- Learn cognitive and developmental milestones
- Be a good model of behavior
- Take care of yourself. Give yourself praise; being a parent is challenging. You’re doing the best you can!
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